Thought Leadership

Stress, Anxiety, Pain, and Tears

This industry is designed to make or break you quickly. Either you have it, or you don't.


You have to wake up the earliest, stay the latest, make the most calls, and set the most meetings…just to get one deal.


Once you get the deal, you have to navigate the mental gymnastics that are needed to get a deal over the finish line.


This business is equally as lucrative as it is mentally challenging.


It changes you. You become a deal junkie. Relentlessly looking for the next larger deal. You keep trying to increase the frequency and commas of your paychecks.


Why? Because the next new guy will do it to make a name. The next broker will get the deal.


But that mindset costs you.


This business will steal your youth and personal relationships if left unchecked.


How do you get less attached to any one specific deal? Find another and another. So, the pattern is never-ending.


Some people may only want to connect with someone that looks like them in the business. I typically don’t have that luxury. Very few people look like me in the world of commercial real estate.


The good news? I have the amazing love and support of my wife, who, as a clinical psychologist, helps me ensure I don’t set a habit of suppressing my emotions.


Dr. Anjali Ferguson a clinical psychologist, says:


“Given the capitalistic nature of our society, it is easy to become hyper-focused on work/career and output. The pandemic significantly increased these pressures when it illustrated how easily someone’s livelihood could be impacted or changed. These pressures remain a consistent source of stress that can have long-term mental and physical health impacts. We know through science that stress is one of the most debilitating factors in someone’s life. The unpredictability, inconsistency, and heightened demand of commercial real estate can possibly leave someone in a constant state of fight/flight. With poor coping and stress management skills, if left unchecked, these symptoms can significantly impact all aspects of someone's life ranging from physical functioning in a day to relationships, parent-child dynamics, and overall mood/well-being. “


I know the value of a mental health day, but I also know the value of making sure I prospect daily. The two can co-exist together.

In my first year in the business, I used to write positive affirmations on my bathroom mirror daily. “You are a great agent”

“You will make it in this business”

“What you focus on expands”


I don’t think I really knew the value of these phrases because I was the only person saying it.

Hearing “NO” all day + micro-aggressions did take its toll on me. Having to drive for Uber to make ends meet after a full day of work was exhausting.

Driving 3 hours per day to get an opportunity was a lot of time in the car by myself to foster self-doubt.

Dr. Anjali Ferguson, a clinical psychologist, says:


  1. Start with boundary setting. It’s important you maintain a work/life balance. Don’t let work consume all aspects of your life. Set boundaries on the amount of time you spend in the office, on phone calls, on meetings, etc.
  2. Become aware of your emotional state. You have to be able to recognize and label negative emotions in yourself. That starts with admitting you feel things like stress and anger, and sadness. Once you label them, you can learn your triggers for these emotions, which will help better manage them when they occur.
  3. Prioritize rest and joy. This sounds simple, but it’s often the most easily overlooked. It’s important you take care of yourself, it helps buffer against difficult emotions. An easy place to start is by making sure you build up moments of joy for yourself (this means something different for everyone). Create a list of things that bring you joy and schedule them into your daily and weekly schedule.
  4. Be present. When you’re not working, be mindful, intentional, and present with your relationships. This may mean prioritizing certain times of the day with your loved ones, making sure you are dedicating all your attention to those interactions, avoiding work conversations, and putting your phone/computer aside.
  5. Build yourself up! Affirmations go a long way. It’s human nature for us to focus on the negative aspects of ourselves, but this can have significant impacts on self-esteem and ultimately impact our productivity and performance. Write or read daily affirmations as a way to remind yourself of your positive qualities. This can help you stay motivated and positive-minded.



So, if you are reading this in Commercial Real Estate, just make sure every day counts equally as much for your bank account and your own mental health. The better the both of them work together, the better YOU will be. The better YOU will be for your clients. The better YOU will be for your family and friends.

‍

You may also be interested in
Videos
I Analyzed a $3,370,000 Apartment Deal So You Don't Have To

Most brokers will hand you a 30-page Offering Memorandum, tell you the cap rate is great, and wait for you to sign. That's not how I operate. In this video, I take off the broker hat and put on the investor hat — breaking down Woodrow Court Apartments, a 16-unit asset in Norfolk, Virginia listed at $3,375,000. I walk through the actual P&L, the hidden expense traps in a 1918 build, the rent-to-market gap, and why the Naval Station Norfolk "moat" makes this one of the most defensible 1031 exchange plays in Hampton Roads right now. [VIDEO EMBED] The Asset: Why Uniformity Is Your Best Friend Woodrow Court is one four-story brick building built in 1918 — 16 units, all two-bedroom/two-bathroom, 1,412 square feet each. 22,592 rentable square feet. 32,793 gross square feet. 0.33-acre lot. Here's why uniformity matters: when every unit is the same layout, your maintenance tech knows exactly what parts to keep in the van. Your leasing agent pitches the same floor plan every time. You're not managing a Frankenstein building with 10 different layouts — you're running a repeatable system. At $210,938 per unit and roughly $149 per square foot, you cannot build a brick-and-mortar 16-unit from scratch for that today. You're buying replacement cost at a discount in a land-constrained coastal market. Key asset details: Address: Woodrow Court Apartments, Norfolk, Virginia Year built: 1918 (four-story brick) Units: 16 — all 2BR/2BA Rentable SF: 22,592 Lot size: 0.33 acres (tight footprint = low landscaping cost) Price: $3,375,000 Price per unit: $210,938 Price per SF: $149 The Income: The "Loss to Lease" Opportunity Current average rent as of March 2026: $1,611/month. Gross annualized rent: $309,216. Market rent projection: $1,700/unit. Gross potential rent at market: $326,400. That $27,200/month gap is Loss to Lease — the owner got comfortable, didn't push rents, and kept good tenants at below-market rates. As an investor, that comfort is your opportunity. But here's the truth most brokers won't tell you: don't bank on $1,700 on Day 1. You earn it through management — tightening operations, addressing the 6.0% economic vacancy, and eliminating bad debt. If you don't account for physical vacancy and collection loss, your spreadsheet is a fairy tale. The Expense Reality: Where Deals Go to Die Current expense ratio: 27.2% — total expenses of $80,437. Pro forma adjusted expenses: $99,456 — a 31.6% ratio. Why the jump? Because when you buy a property, the taxes reset. Current real estate taxes: $25,797. Pro forma projection: $40,500. If your broker isn't showing you a tax reset in their OM, find a new broker. Management fee bumped from 6.0% to 7.0% — because in this market you want professional management that keeps repairs at $12,000 annualized through preventative care, not emergency fixes that blow your budget. The 1918 Factor: Walk a building this old and look at the systems, not the paint. Check the plumbing stacks. Confirm the electrical has been updated, not just pigtailed. Budget a system audit in Year 1 — the OM's $4,000 operating reserve is a standard accounting number, not a real maintenance budget. The Norfolk "Naval Moat": Why Location De-Risks This Deal People ask me why Norfolk. Simple: the U.S. Navy. Naval Station Norfolk is the largest naval base in the world — 34,000+ military and civilian personnel. Norfolk Naval Shipyard adds another 10,000. When you own apartments within 10 minutes of the world's largest naval base, you're not just buying real estate — you're buying a piece of the U.S. defense budget. Market fundamentals within 1-mile radius: Median household income: $79,968 Unemployment rate: 3.0% Total households in 5-mile radius: 104,830 Renter-occupied units in 5-mile radius: 58,643 (more than half) Major employers: Naval Station Norfolk, Norfolk Naval Shipyard, Sentara Healthcare, Old Dominion University Nearby amenities: IKEA, Simon Premium Outlets, Norfolk International Airport (all within 10 min) This isn't a speculative market. It's a bread-and-butter stable income market with structural demand from military, healthcare, and university employment. The Returns: What You Actually Make At 30% down ($1,012,500) and 5.90% interest: Metric Current Pro Forma Gross Potential Rent $309,216 $326,400 Net Operating Income $215,226 — Cap Rate 6.38% — Debt Service $168,154 — Cash Flow After Debt $47,072 — Cash-on-Cash Return 4.65% — Principal Reduction (Year 1) $29,557 — Total Return (cash flow + equity) 7.57% — Yes, you can get 5% in a high-yield savings account. But your savings account doesn't give you $29,557 in annual principal reduction. It doesn't give you the tax depreciation on a $3.3M asset. And it doesn't appreciate when you push rents from $1.14/SF to $1.30/SF across 22,592 rentable feet. The Rent Comp Gap: The Real Value-Add Play Current rent: $1.14/SF Neighborhood comparables: Museum Apartments: $1.81/SF Riverview Lofts: $1.98/SF The James: $2.08/SF Market average: $1.89/SF You don't need a full luxury renovation to close that gap. Clean up the common areas, improve the lighting, tighten management — getting from $1.14 to $1.25/SF is a conservative target. Every penny you add to that per-square-foot number across 22,592 feet drops straight to NOI and compounds your valuation at a 6.38% cap. The Sales Comps: Why the Pricing Is Defensive 625 W Princess Anne Road: sold at $237,500/unit The Botetourt: $231,250/unit Comp average: $143/SF Woodrow Court: $210,938/unit and $149/SF — nearly $26,000 per door cheaper than the closest comparable sale, with units that are 1,412 SF vs. the 900–1,000 SF two-bedrooms most Norfolk competitors offer. More space for a similar rent = stickiness. When a tenant has 1,400 square feet and two full bathrooms, they don't leave to save $50/month at a cramped complex down the street. The Bottom Line Is Woodrow Court perfect? No. The 1918 build requires eyes-open due diligence. The loss-to-lease won't close overnight. The tax reset will hit your Year 1 numbers. But as a stable, brick multifamily asset in a Navy-anchored coastal market with 58,000+ renter-occupied households within 5 miles? This is a textbook buy-and-hold — and one of the most defensible 1031 exchange options in Hampton Roads right now. If you want the full rent roll, the trailing 12-month P&L, or to schedule a walkthrough, contact me directly. Frequently Asked Questions What is the cap rate on Woodrow Court Apartments in Norfolk, VA? The current cap rate on Woodrow Court is 6.38%, based on a Net Operating Income of $215,226 and a list price of $3,375,000. Is Norfolk, Virginia a good market for multifamily investing? Yes — Norfolk is anchored by Naval Station Norfolk, the largest naval base in the world, employing over 34,000 personnel. Combined with Sentara Healthcare and Old Dominion University, the market has structural renter demand, a 3.0% unemployment rate, and over 58,000 renter-occupied households within 5 miles. What is Loss to Lease in multifamily real estate? Loss to Lease is the gap between what a property currently collects in rent and what the market will support. At Woodrow Court, current average rent is $1,611/month vs. a market rate of $1,700/month — representing a $27,200/year income opportunity for a new owner who tightens management. What should I look for when buying a 1918 apartment building? Focus on the systems, not the cosmetics. Inspect plumbing stacks, electrical panels (look for pigtailing vs. full updates), roof condition, and windows. Budget a system audit in Year 1 and treat the OM's operating reserve as a floor, not a ceiling. What is a good cash-on-cash return on a multifamily investment in Virginia? In today's interest rate environment (5.5–6.5% financing), a 4–6% cash-on-cash return is reasonable for stabilized Virginia multifamily assets. Woodrow Court produces a 4.65% cash-on-cash return at 30% down, with a 7.57% total return when principal paydown is included. What is a 1031 exchange and why is this property a good fit? A 1031 exchange allows real estate investors to defer capital gains taxes by reinvesting proceeds from a sold property into a like-kind replacement property. Woodrow Court is well-suited for 1031 exchange buyers because of its stable NOI ($215,226), Navy-driven demand moat, and defensive pricing vs. recent comparable sales.

Free Downloads
Fill out the form below and get immediate access to valuable resources!
Thank you for your interest!

Please copy the password below and follow the link.

View Resources
Oops! Something went wrong while submitting the form.